Sunday, January 01, 2006

Melancholy Musings

What is it about the New Year that reminds me of a blank journal page? It is a strange phenomenon when there is a blank slate, a blank canvas, a blank page, or a blank year and it mixes inside you a mixture of fear, anticipation, excitement and today, melancholy. After a fun New Year's eve in Fremantle with the Clipper Boat race activities, too much food and too much Moet, January 1st is actually more of me musing about the people I love and what I wish for them for the year ahead. It is also about me looking at my life through the lens that removes all the physical and emotional clutter and allows me to be selective about what gets put back on the radar that guides me through my days.

Moving on with that metaphor, Stuart and I actually had a New Year's conversation about the physical clutter being gone, but there is still emotional and activity clutter in our lives that we are going to work on this year ( i.e. a full radar blipping at me constantly) ... so I start with the issue of all my blank books! Which is really funny when I think about it. Book for morning pages, book for end of day gratitudes (which I forgot to write in last night dammit) and all this followed by a series of books for a series of blank book events, occassions and activities. I thinkI seriously need to consider actually collapsing some of these in together.

I have the most beautiful hand made journal of red silk and handmade pages that I have been saving. 'Saving'. That makes me smile. I have literally hundreds of blank books I am saving - but this one has a special tone and feel to it that really appeals to me. I am feeling like the whole blog thing is a little electronic for me and I need that balance of the aesthetic to work with too. If I use this art piece starting today I have the opportunity for that 'new book on Januray 1st' feeling ... both sacry (Like will I continue it or stuff it up?) and exciting (I finally get to write in it). It takes me back to the little 'girl's diaries' with the lock that you could easily break into if you were a sibling with an interest. I am thinking I could at least use this artefact to get me started this year with gratitudes, morning pages and extraneous miscellaneous musings.

What I can't seem to consider is collapsing some of my writing and other practical journals. Currently there are journals for everything from: story and article ideas, one for NCN (Aha ... you see I had THAT before the blog!), one for Foot in the Door (nearly out of use really), my Charisma Question book, general writing exercises, thoughts and notes, Beach Dreamings, general writing inspirations from other writers, to the more practical internet logs, finances recording and planning, Stuart and my life planning, and a book that I am recoring parental thoughts in for both Clare and Simon for when I am no longer around. Add to this my filing cabinet and beautiful boxes (an adventure I had with Elizabeth in the days we were postgrads together at Murdoch).

See why I need to declutter how I work?

I think I can amalgamate the gratitude, morning pages and general musings into one. When it comes to the practical and writing books? I am not up to that yet. At least having a plethora gives me an excuse to keep buying more.

Now there's a thought that makes me smile ... melanchology disipates ... a new year begins ...

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